Winter's Gifts

The onset of winter is firmly upon us with obvious signs all around. The first snows have fallen. Waters that have flowed freely under the sun’s caress are now locked in a frozen embrace. Light dwindles until night seems to visit before the end of the day’s activities. Breath is noticeable in crisp, cutting air and clouds appear laden with the promise of more frozen white crystals. Mother Nature continues her endless cycles.

While most of her creations respond with harmony and surrender, only the human kingdom has the choice to acquiesce and flow or challenge with an attempt to impose a self-created and desired path. Many choose the former, having discovered the folly of challenging the natural order of life in. Still many are the numbers who look at their own agendas and timetables as independent of and superior to the natural flow of all life.

Increasingly, I've noticed there seems to be an general malaise, contrary to nature, that most people are feeling. I have noticed it by people not attending events that typically take place around this time of year, whether it be a party or a family gathering, or by not getting invloved in the spirit of giving and general appreciation. Maybe it's because they are just feeling the pinch of the economy or maybe some expectation they had as to how things should be thats weighing heavily their minds. Or maybe they are experiencing the reality that agendas and timetables are neither independent of nor superior to the natural order.

In some cases we need "to just show up" by attending family, church and community events, no matter how difficult it may seem, and by spending time with loved ones. God understands how important it is to just show up. The Christmas story, in a sense, is about God showing up on earth and the wise men, shepherds and others showing up at the manger. There is hope in just being present. We just don't get through by ourselves.

This is Christmas Eve and tomorrow is Christmas Day. This, indeed, is a natural time of hope and giving. We intentionally set aside this time of year to feel hope, to feel joy, to be giving to one another, to be generous to one another, to show appreciation, and it's such a wonderful thing that we do this intentionally.

So show up and enjoy winter's gifts.

Man's Best Friend Knows Best

So there I was sitting with a friend watching the rather quirky, yet lovable antics of a little three pound (mostly hair I think) gremlin-like creature all the while admiring my friend's genuine love for this animal and the equally genuine joy it brought her.

It reminded me of something a colleague had given me a while back, which I found amusing so I thought I'd share. I hope you enjoy them as much as I did.

Business Lessons I've Learned from Dogs:

1. Always greet customers with excitement, even when you just saw them three minutes ago. They never grow tired of thinking they are the most important thing in your life.

2. Don't confuse your tail with a goal worth chasing.

3. Sleep as many hours a day as possible, but always be ready to play when the chance arises.

4. Don't be afraid to get dirty; in fact, relish it.

5. When the big folks are feasting, if you know how to work things, you'll be able to feast too.

6. Barking a lot is annoying, so don't do it often. That way, when you do bark, people spring to attention.

7. Don't bark at the mailman. He's been known to have a dog treat in his pocket.

8. The more you show that you don't need a leash, the less you have to wear it. Conversely, if you're always tugging on your leash, you'll always have to wear it.

9. The joy is in digging the hole, not hiding the bone. But its reassuring to know there are a few bones hidden.

10. Biting someone never leads to anything good.

11. Continuously learning new tricks keeps you young.

12. Fool your masters into thinking they are in charge.

The Man in the Mirror

A common requirement of leaders at all levels is having the courage to make tough decisions and take difficult actions.

We talk about courage in meetings, rate it in performance evals and listen for it in interviews. Most would agree it's an important element of successful leadership. Yet, becoming a courageous leader involves a lot more than talking, rating, and correctly answering interview questions.
The dictionary defines courage as "the state or quality of mind and spirit that enables one to face danger or fear with confidence and resolution" But what does that mean in the real world and how can it be measured and quantified?

Perhaps the best way to understand courage is to define its opposite. Some would say "cowardliness"...avoiding pressure, difficulty, or danger. Others might say "fear"...being afraid to do the right thing when the going gets rough. Both are logical and appropriate, but there's another description that's equally valid, although not as commonly thought of- "conformity"...letting things be the way they have always been because of the high price associated with changing them.
As a leader, you need courage to do what needs to be done, to do what you know is the right thing. There will always be those who tell you you're wrong- even when you're thoroughly convinced you're right. There will always be those tempting you to take an easier and less resistant path. And there will always be those who, either purposefully or unintentionally, create obstacles that will challenge your resolve.

Courage is about having the guts, nerve, and heart to do the right things that foster progress. To become a courageous leader, you must have an undeniable, indisputable, unwavering commitment to be the best you can be. The true measure of your leadership is the ability to look in the mirror and know that you had the courage to do what you felt was the right thing to do.

For every person there comes a moment when he or she must have the courage to step forward and meet the needs of the time. Regardless of whether your moment is now or somtime in the future, you must be ready. The people you lead are counting on you.

Don't let them down.

I Never Thought of That!

So there I was, up on stage belting out AC/DC's "Dirty Deeds" (crowd pleaser) to a bunch of rednecks (not that there's anything wrong with that) in a concrete floor country tin shack beer out of a bucket backwoods bar (not that there is anything wrong with that either)...and I was thinking, I should be doing something better with my time.

Now, don't get me wrong, I have no plans to deprive the locals of some good ole head-bangin rock-n-roll every now and then. Those late night sets will continue! But I've always felt compelled to do something more, to give back. But how?

Most of us know that hospitals, libraries, and churches, etc. use volunteers for a great deal of their work, but somehow those things just aren't my style. So began my quest to match what I like to do and my skills with causes that are important to me.

This is what found:

Day Care Centers- would be cool to cook for the kiddos
Neighborhood Watch- Guardian Angel style...don't try it in my hood *#*kr!
Public Schools and Colleges- maybe a speech or two or a guest lecture
Drug Rehabilitation Centers- there's nothing like passing on what you've learned. what, you didn't? yes you did, and you inhaled too!
Retirement Centers and Homes for the Elderly- this is really a gift to yourself. knowledge is power and you'll find it all here.
Prisons- let's face it many of today's problems are due to attitude. a little jailhouse rock is the perfect path to reform! (some are getting out ya know)

So give back doing something you never thought you would do, something you might enjoy. I do because I have kids, my house has been robbed, some classes sucked so I skipped and partied too much, which landed me in jail and I'm sure I'll be in an old fogies' home someday. And when I'm there I'm counting on someone to play Metallica's Kill 'em All when it's time for a diaper change!

Mind the Gap

So there I was, in the midst of one of the greatest motivational sales persons ever, Jefferey Gitomer (http://www.gitomer.com/), hoping to glean a little something to help myself and our business. And I did. As he spouted about attitude and kicking your own ass, secrets of closing, drop in calls and the like, I picked up more than enough golden nuggets to keep me energized for the next year.

And then it happened. I had my Aha! moment. In describing the London subway, he noted that on every car and at every stop there is a sign prominently displayed that reads "Mind the gap". Of course it meant to pay attention to the gap between the platform and the car as you step on and off, so you don't fall in. (That would suck) But what does it really mean? Recounting his endless analogies and humorous lessons, I realized everything he had been talking about was the gap. And the subway car and the platform.

The subway car is WHERE WE ARE and the platform is WHERE WE WANT TO GO and visa versa, depending on where you're standing. The GAP is what stands between where we are and where we want to go. This is true of anything. If you want to become a doctor and you're still in high school, well, there is a gap of about 10 years of academia and residency that you must overcome. If you're in love, but don't tell him/ her, then you have a communication gap. If you're freezing your ass off in the snow and want to be on the beach, your gap is called American Airlines!

In other words, know where you are and where you want to go and then find out what's needed to close the gap. No matter how big or small, always pay attention to what stands between you and your goals, lest you fall in...and that would suck!

Playing NOT to Win?

He stood in front of a sea of players gathered before him. It was the first day of practice in preparation for the upcoming season. Some basic instructions were given- shower, drink lots of water. Good advice. But what came next laid out the essential game plan.

He said "Someone here is the best player and someone is the worst. It's time to forget about that. Let's respect each other. When we respect each other, we'll like each other. When we like each other, we'll love each other. That's when, together, we'll become champions." He paused, then added "One more thing guys, we don't talk about winning and losing."

What?! We don't talk about winning and losing? This is football. There are winners and there are losers. And I want to be a winner and stomp the hell out of the losers...LOSER!

So there I was, all fired up to become a winner- a champion, when the man we all pinned our hopes and dreams on says we don't talk about winning and losing. But what he said next not only changed my perception of competition, but also my perception of who I was supposed to be as a man.

"We talk about getting a little better everyday", he said pointedly, as if looking straight into each of our hearts, "About being the best we can be, about being a team. And when we do that winning and losing take care of themselves."

That has stuck with me for years. It's a simple philosophy really. Listen and learn from others. Hold yourself to the highest standard in every situation. Say "Yes, Sir" and "Yes, Ma'am". Look people in the eye. Have a firm handshake. Men, treat your lady like a lady. Ladies, treat your men like men. Put family first. The idea of continuous improvement or TQM in business.

Relationships, academics, jobs, families...These things require the same commitment. Sacrifice, preparation, hard work. For every failure I can point to my lack of commitment and discipline to this philosophy- I was a loser. However, every time I have followed through, I have won, and so have the people around me. We have to make good choices about the people we surround ourselves with, and commit to sharing our own experiences with others.

We are teachers, after all. The more we teach, the more tradition we build. And, tradition never graduates.

To talk or not to talk. That is the question.

So there i was, talking with a friend about doing more of the things we love- about family, about friends, about our current readings (we both love to read) when we stumbled on the subjects of goals. The ensuing two hour conversation and the tingling elation spurred by deep currents of thought provided the impetuous for this blog, as it has been one of my goals for some time now.

So what did we talk about that was so enlightening? Nothing. Yet, everything. I gained an acute awareness of the power of talk.

This is what I learned: People talk for many reasons. And people don't talk for just as many reasons.

Why talk?

People talk to extend themselves to another, to accept responsibility for the growth of the relationship, and to share ideas or feelings with someone else. Good, rich conversation is always good. Gab, chat, small talk, whatever you like to call it is also always good. Our creative juices flow when we talk. That is the juice of life that helps us become better parents, friends, business associates and ultimately just better people.

Why not talk?

People don't talk for a variety of reasons. One person may be shy. Another may not know what to say in a particular situation such as the death of a relative. The timing may be off. A night owl may seldom talk in the morning. A friend reacting to stress may be temporarily mute. Non-talking can be used as a defense, as manipulation of another, or even as punishment. And last, but not least, talking can be a lot of work. But friendship is a lot of work as is anything worth having.

So there ends my first blog....EVER! Talk amongst yourselves now. Be sensitve, be enthusiastic and thanks for sharing.