Playing NOT to Win?

He stood in front of a sea of players gathered before him. It was the first day of practice in preparation for the upcoming season. Some basic instructions were given- shower, drink lots of water. Good advice. But what came next laid out the essential game plan.

He said "Someone here is the best player and someone is the worst. It's time to forget about that. Let's respect each other. When we respect each other, we'll like each other. When we like each other, we'll love each other. That's when, together, we'll become champions." He paused, then added "One more thing guys, we don't talk about winning and losing."

What?! We don't talk about winning and losing? This is football. There are winners and there are losers. And I want to be a winner and stomp the hell out of the losers...LOSER!

So there I was, all fired up to become a winner- a champion, when the man we all pinned our hopes and dreams on says we don't talk about winning and losing. But what he said next not only changed my perception of competition, but also my perception of who I was supposed to be as a man.

"We talk about getting a little better everyday", he said pointedly, as if looking straight into each of our hearts, "About being the best we can be, about being a team. And when we do that winning and losing take care of themselves."

That has stuck with me for years. It's a simple philosophy really. Listen and learn from others. Hold yourself to the highest standard in every situation. Say "Yes, Sir" and "Yes, Ma'am". Look people in the eye. Have a firm handshake. Men, treat your lady like a lady. Ladies, treat your men like men. Put family first. The idea of continuous improvement or TQM in business.

Relationships, academics, jobs, families...These things require the same commitment. Sacrifice, preparation, hard work. For every failure I can point to my lack of commitment and discipline to this philosophy- I was a loser. However, every time I have followed through, I have won, and so have the people around me. We have to make good choices about the people we surround ourselves with, and commit to sharing our own experiences with others.

We are teachers, after all. The more we teach, the more tradition we build. And, tradition never graduates.