Mind the Gap

So there I was, in the midst of one of the greatest motivational sales persons ever, Jefferey Gitomer (http://www.gitomer.com/), hoping to glean a little something to help myself and our business. And I did. As he spouted about attitude and kicking your own ass, secrets of closing, drop in calls and the like, I picked up more than enough golden nuggets to keep me energized for the next year.

And then it happened. I had my Aha! moment. In describing the London subway, he noted that on every car and at every stop there is a sign prominently displayed that reads "Mind the gap". Of course it meant to pay attention to the gap between the platform and the car as you step on and off, so you don't fall in. (That would suck) But what does it really mean? Recounting his endless analogies and humorous lessons, I realized everything he had been talking about was the gap. And the subway car and the platform.

The subway car is WHERE WE ARE and the platform is WHERE WE WANT TO GO and visa versa, depending on where you're standing. The GAP is what stands between where we are and where we want to go. This is true of anything. If you want to become a doctor and you're still in high school, well, there is a gap of about 10 years of academia and residency that you must overcome. If you're in love, but don't tell him/ her, then you have a communication gap. If you're freezing your ass off in the snow and want to be on the beach, your gap is called American Airlines!

In other words, know where you are and where you want to go and then find out what's needed to close the gap. No matter how big or small, always pay attention to what stands between you and your goals, lest you fall in...and that would suck!

Playing NOT to Win?

He stood in front of a sea of players gathered before him. It was the first day of practice in preparation for the upcoming season. Some basic instructions were given- shower, drink lots of water. Good advice. But what came next laid out the essential game plan.

He said "Someone here is the best player and someone is the worst. It's time to forget about that. Let's respect each other. When we respect each other, we'll like each other. When we like each other, we'll love each other. That's when, together, we'll become champions." He paused, then added "One more thing guys, we don't talk about winning and losing."

What?! We don't talk about winning and losing? This is football. There are winners and there are losers. And I want to be a winner and stomp the hell out of the losers...LOSER!

So there I was, all fired up to become a winner- a champion, when the man we all pinned our hopes and dreams on says we don't talk about winning and losing. But what he said next not only changed my perception of competition, but also my perception of who I was supposed to be as a man.

"We talk about getting a little better everyday", he said pointedly, as if looking straight into each of our hearts, "About being the best we can be, about being a team. And when we do that winning and losing take care of themselves."

That has stuck with me for years. It's a simple philosophy really. Listen and learn from others. Hold yourself to the highest standard in every situation. Say "Yes, Sir" and "Yes, Ma'am". Look people in the eye. Have a firm handshake. Men, treat your lady like a lady. Ladies, treat your men like men. Put family first. The idea of continuous improvement or TQM in business.

Relationships, academics, jobs, families...These things require the same commitment. Sacrifice, preparation, hard work. For every failure I can point to my lack of commitment and discipline to this philosophy- I was a loser. However, every time I have followed through, I have won, and so have the people around me. We have to make good choices about the people we surround ourselves with, and commit to sharing our own experiences with others.

We are teachers, after all. The more we teach, the more tradition we build. And, tradition never graduates.

To talk or not to talk. That is the question.

So there i was, talking with a friend about doing more of the things we love- about family, about friends, about our current readings (we both love to read) when we stumbled on the subjects of goals. The ensuing two hour conversation and the tingling elation spurred by deep currents of thought provided the impetuous for this blog, as it has been one of my goals for some time now.

So what did we talk about that was so enlightening? Nothing. Yet, everything. I gained an acute awareness of the power of talk.

This is what I learned: People talk for many reasons. And people don't talk for just as many reasons.

Why talk?

People talk to extend themselves to another, to accept responsibility for the growth of the relationship, and to share ideas or feelings with someone else. Good, rich conversation is always good. Gab, chat, small talk, whatever you like to call it is also always good. Our creative juices flow when we talk. That is the juice of life that helps us become better parents, friends, business associates and ultimately just better people.

Why not talk?

People don't talk for a variety of reasons. One person may be shy. Another may not know what to say in a particular situation such as the death of a relative. The timing may be off. A night owl may seldom talk in the morning. A friend reacting to stress may be temporarily mute. Non-talking can be used as a defense, as manipulation of another, or even as punishment. And last, but not least, talking can be a lot of work. But friendship is a lot of work as is anything worth having.

So there ends my first blog....EVER! Talk amongst yourselves now. Be sensitve, be enthusiastic and thanks for sharing.